Getting It On In The Candy Aisle

The portrayal of various forms of produce - limes, lemons, cherries, etc. - in various positions more commonly seen in the Kama Sutra than on candy wrappers has sparked complaints:

St Blasien Jesuit College, a Catholic institution located near Bonn, Germany has complained about the new Haribo sweet wrappers, which portray fruits in various sexual positions.

"We are shocked at the shameless presentation of sexual practices on the wrapping, which includes not only sexual intercourse but also fellatio and cunnilingus," wrote the college in a letter complaining about the new packaging of Haribo's Moaom fruit chews.

"It's irresponsible, to expose children to such pornographic representations," added the letter.

The 'controversial' sweets wrapped in bright yellow, red and green colours show lemons, limes, strawberries, cherries and oranges playfully engaging in sex.

St Blasen, however, is not enamoured with the new packaging and is especially opposed to lemon-flavoured sweets, which show a green figure having sex with a lemon.

The lemon-lime packaging is pictured above. I dunno. I don't have an issue with fruit having a good time. I just think it's the tutti-frutti thing that's bothering me. I'm concerned about children seeing yellow citrus engaged in coitus with green citrus. Lemon on lemon or lime on lime would be fine, but this is just too much. Are we teaching our young that inter-racial fruit relationships are wholesome and acceptable in the society within which we live? If we don't watch out, kids are going to learn about fruit punch - and goodness know what'll happen then...

NOTE: The last few comments were actually brought to you by the Archie Bunker Institute of Race Relations.