Cleaning My Kitchen With Barf

My friend Kristin promised me an exotic gift from her recent trip to Uzbekistan. Meeting today for a quasi-business/quasi-social lunch at a Midtown pub, she planned to bring my "special present" in tow.

"What, oh, what would it be?" I wondered. Could it be some dried Kazy, the famous Uzbek horsemeat sausage? Maybe a jar of Kholvaitar, Uzbekistan's liquid version of Halavah?

She did one better. She gave me the gift of Barf. Yes, as pictured above, manufactured in Iran, Barf is actually a popular soap line - including lemon and apple-scented kitchen cleansing scrubs and dishwashing detergent. According to Kristin, no Uzbek kitchen would be complete without a full supply of Barf products.

Even so, I'm sure you'll agree that Barf's Uzbek marketing appeal is lost in translation. It brings to mind a couple of global missteps taken by other food marketers - Perdue Farms's translation of its slogan "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken" into a Spanish phrase meaning "It takes a sexually aroused man to make a chicken affectionate"; and Coca-Cola's (KO) misbegotten attempt to render its name in Chinese characters, which came off as "Bite the Wax Tadpole."

Oh, well. It's not like I really wanted the horse sausage anyway.